Scribblings » Random

Why?

Anz — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:49:01 +0000

Sometimes I wonder if this is God’s way of testing my patience or just my karma….the things I want to go away from keep coming back to me…. not once, not twice byt always. Why can’t these things stop happening? Why do things have to keep coming back? Why can’t this whole cycle stop repeating again and again? Oh Why? Will this ordeal ever end?

Revelations, Wake Up Sid, Diwali (long) weekend

Anz — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 21:14:53 +0000

As usual it’s been sometime since I scribbled here. For once I can say it wasn’t time issues (though there’s hardly anytime to do anything) but still….i was deliberately not posting. It wasn’t either that I didn’t have anything to post. Loads has happened. I simply didn’t feel like posting. Sounds fair enough right?..well kinda yes and no. I off-late was in a ranty and I mean crazy ranty mood. Crib crib crib crib…is all I wanted to do and I was tired of writing the same old stuff here. This problem that problem….whining and all that jazz. But then again, today during a chance conversation made me realize how light I felt after I had done my bit of ranting . Yes, it’s like having a crying shoulder, someone to whom you can tell all your woes feel all light. Someone who wouldn’t say or give you that look clearly indicating, “i told you so.” No suggestions, no one to wipe the tears but just giving them space to flow out of my system. My blog is like a human being with loads of space, energy and patience sans the emotions, suggestions and the drama.
I knew i liked blogging but was being lazy, but today I realized how special and precious this space is to me. Thank You Scribblings for being there!!!>:D<

Keeping in tune with the above para, the past few or more so that last week has been a week of revelations and realizations. Realization coz I was trying to erase certain things pertaining to my life and revelations coz they would never leave my side however hard I try to erase or forget them. Some more revelations happened, hoping is good and keeps the aspiration levels high but what is more important to not put everything on stake on those hopes. This makes it sound like one should consider cautious hoping!?!?! Blame games are passe for me, I believe everything happens for a reason and to teach us a lesson. Learning lessons = Life. Still figuring out all the reasons and lessons. Guess figuring this one out would take sometime.

And I have a new mission now which is to bring my focus back on track. Hopefully I should be able to.

Saw Wake Up Sid finally….another feel good movie showing happy endings. Not always do things sort themselves out and lead to happy endings. At times trying too hard also fails. Guess I will have to wait for something like this to believe in it strongly. Lucky Ranbir Kapoor, he fails and yet lands up in his sort of dream job and gets the one he loves in the end.

Looking forward, Diwali is finally here..yay!!! Though not much of a celebration this year…but still the festivity in the air is getting to me…cheering me up like crazy…and I am not regretting it…not one bit. Infact I am enjoying myself. The colorful, fancy and innovative lights decorating Delhi houses makes you want to capture the pretty picture it creates. Happy Diwali to everyone (not many to say everyone here ) I have a 3 day long weekend coming up…triple yay! I hope to take sometime out for myself and just rest and enjoy myself. Hopefully, I can meet up with friends with whom numerous plans have been cancelled or failed to materialize.

Signing off for now…..boy do I feel nice after writing

Till next time-Happy Diwali, Take Care and Keep that smile coming my way.

The Mystery, The Tunnel, The Dark and The Life.

Anz — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 06:44:37 +0000

Life is such a mystery, at times it makes you laugh like crazy and at other times it makes you cry and at some other times leaves you in a zonked state of mind. There was a time when I thought, no situation is such to leave one zonked or numb. Over the years this perception seems to have changed like other such similar notions.

The idiom-”Life through rose-tinted glasses”, well does hold true…till the time the glasses crack coz of an encounter with reality, harsh reality.

Things have changed…so have perceptions and opinions. For good or for worse…I shall let time decide. But right now everything seems to be inside a tunnel…a dark one, no source of light around, not even a faint glimmer. Is it really so or I still have to adjust to the dark? Guess there will be a day when I shall adjust to the dark and find a way out of this dark tunnel…and so will I find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Coincidentally the title track of the movie ‘Kaminey’ plays on my iPod while I write this post.

(Kya kare zindagi isko hum jo mile
iski jaan kha gaye raat din ke gile) - (2)
raat din ke gile, meri aarzoo kamini, mere khwaab bhi kaminey
ik dil se dosti thi ki huzur bhi kaminey
kya kare zindagi isko hum jo mile
iski jaan kha gaye raat din ke gile.

Questioning Questions!

Anz — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 20:06:20 +0000

Off late my posts (whatever limited number) seem to be more of questions. Questions some of which are those which have been asked by others with other and a major chunk of them mushrooming in my head…as if they had taken human form and were taking a stroll through my mind if it were a free-for-all jogging area.

Questions range from work, friendship, life, relationships, general things around etc. With the assortment, I might as well compile a collection of questions or prepare a question bank…but alas for the solutions.

With the passing of time I have noticed a change in these questions. I guess this is what they call “getting matured” Usually a lot of these questions have evolved to be path leaders but some of them (unfortunately the crucial ones) have left me flabbergasted. Maybe I am unable to take cue the solutions these questions are pointing towards, but whatever said and done I am STUCK!

I need to break away or break free from this bondage. Bondage of my weakness of being unable to make a decision. A decision which is important, important enough to bring about a change in me, yet I am unable to muster the strength to take it.

What do I do????

2 words and a question…

Anz — Wed, 20 May 2009 07:48:10 +0000

Why me?

Anz — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 18:56:05 +0000

See one of my favorite Spring flowers here

What happens when I can’t sleep?

Anz — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 06:12:41 +0000

What happens when I can’t sleep….to start off..it leads to a post being published here!

Strangely, the days I feel like just crashing and waking up only when I am re-energized, I tend to have a tough

time falling asleep….sounds crazy…it does to me as well.

Now I would ideally think of coming down to ways to relax and put myself off to sleep. But only if they worked.

Most of the tried and tested measures have failed as I write this post, don’t believe me?..a glass of warm milk apart from it being tasty and filling (post-midnight snack-if you can call it that) it didn’t do much wonders to get the sleeping activity happening in my head.

Deep breathing-it did work sometimes but not today. Sigh!

My favorite- listening to music while dozing off….nah!..this too failed.

Reading-nope didn’t work as well as I had planned…(my patience seems to be running out now)

Have even tried counting sheep, stars, clouds, whatever I could imagine counting up to infinite numbers (now did

that make any sense?)

It’s been sometime since I am just lying around, staring into the dark, somewhere deep down realizing the reason.

Making the right decision regarding the reason is something that’s in process, or is made already…but I don’t want to think about it tonight or for sometime…i want to….simply….let it go and just be!

Dilemma

Anz — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 19:35:06 +0000

What is the best way to deal with an instance or situation which you know could be right for someone else, but not for your ownself. An action, which would provide a solution (maybe?) but then would leave a mark—forever, positive or negative—dont know.

Ethically one should avoid hurting anyone, but what if not hurting someone else leads to giving pain to ourselves?

What should one actually do in such a situation, go ahead and lead to burden the life of another person or bear the pain forever?

Another year…another come back!

Anz — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 18:37:23 +0000

I come and go…but the important bit is that I do come back again..right? Well firstly a very Happy New Year to those who would be reading this (don’t know if there actually are any readers left)

Ummm…the first few posts seem to always put me in a tizzy on what to write…well to start off the year seems to have started off on a somewhat good note (I hope it continues to be good for me and some good things actually do happen this year–fingers crossed)

I am not going to reminiscence on things that happened last year…not great enough to remember and I’d prefer to atleast in this case let bygones be bygones.

The start was great…spent the first day of the year with a close friend…was good fun especially when you are catching up after months…and as the saying goes..what you do the first day of the year continues for the rest of the year..I hope I can enjoy as much the whole year around with family and friends.

To end the first post of this year….Happy New Year…and this year’s resolution…just to be a bit more regular here and not go missing.

Seeya all around…till next time..take care and keep smiling