Scribblings

Do More of What Makes You Happy!

To self: Here goes a checklist to do those things that would make me happy:

- Finish reading the books I have been collecting for sometime but never getting around to reading them.

- Take my camera with me and click random crazy pics and look at life from a brand new perspective

- Go shopping (this is always a continuous activity…how can it not be; after all retail therapy never fails )

- Exercise (well I should add…not be lazy to skip doing this)

- Listen to music and get my musical notes back again – nothing beats to pep up my mood. (so readers you can recommend your happy songs)

- Just relax the grey cells…they’ve been in overdrive for sometime now. Time to give them some rest and more importantly a breath of fresh air.

- Sleep early…to be rejuvenated for the next day and look forward to it more eagerly.

-  Last but not the least..IGNORING the existence of moronic individuals who just cause nothing but upheavals in my life. *Abracadabra—whoosh—-VANISH!* 

There’s a checklist…and now I follow it…starting tomorrow with the break of dawn.

I have a problem, which I now classify as a disorder. A disorder which does make me feel weird to myself. The problem at hand is that I remember too much. Memories dating from years and years on, of moments ranging from junior year of school to college and then now. I remember places, times, dates, events, moments which are not even events. What people said, when they said, how they said, what they were wearing, exact location etc etc.

It is not that I try and remember these moments and incidents, they just stay engraved, embossed, imprinted and all the words that can describe to such effect automatically. Even if i try to forget them, yet they refuse to leave my side or rather my mind. Often I hear from those around me that you choose to remember and you choose to forget. In moments of analysis and trying to figure out why this happens and how I remember things, I have realized that I do not make a conscious effort  to remember them, they just do not leave my side. Or to put it the other way around somewhere deep down I do not wish to forget them. Either ways it is me who is at the focal point and the turmoil center is of course my mind.

Now when I think over it, I am tilting towards the realization that maybe it is me who does not want to let go of these memories. Letting go…is it that easy? It isn’t easy at all, somewhere we don’t want to let go of them. The void they leave behind is what causes the pain not remembering them but the feeling that those times which brought smiles won’t be there any longer. Of course each past moment is replaced with a new and futuristic one so on and so forth. Yet, the impact and effect the past ones leave is irreplaceable.

The current state of my mind is that I am in a bubble. A Memory Bubble. Memories surround me, envelop me, wrap their arms around me and hug me forever. Hugs which are so warm that I just want to stay there and not be let loose or even want the bubble to burst. I want to freeze moments. I wish I could. I would have gone into the past and frozen lots and lots of moments and stayed there forever. The problem is bizarre. Any suggestions to cure it???