I have a problem, which I now classify as a disorder. A disorder which does make me feel weird to myself. The problem at hand is that I remember too much. Memories dating from years and years on, of moments ranging from junior year of school to college and then now. I remember places, times, dates, events, moments which are not even events. What people said, when they said, how they said, what they were wearing, exact location etc etc.

It is not that I try and remember these moments and incidents, they just stay engraved, embossed, imprinted and all the words that can describe to such effect automatically. Even if i try to forget them, yet they refuse to leave my side or rather my mind. Often I hear from those around me that you choose to remember and you choose to forget. In moments of analysis and trying to figure out why this happens and how I remember things, I have realized that I do not make a conscious effort  to remember them, they just do not leave my side. Or to put it the other way around somewhere deep down I do not wish to forget them. Either ways it is me who is at the focal point and the turmoil center is of course my mind.

Now when I think over it, I am tilting towards the realization that maybe it is me who does not want to let go of these memories. Letting go…is it that easy? It isn’t easy at all, somewhere we don’t want to let go of them. The void they leave behind is what causes the pain not remembering them but the feeling that those times which brought smiles won’t be there any longer. Of course each past moment is replaced with a new and futuristic one so on and so forth. Yet, the impact and effect the past ones leave is irreplaceable.

The current state of my mind is that I am in a bubble. A Memory Bubble. Memories surround me, envelop me, wrap their arms around me and hug me forever. Hugs which are so warm that I just want to stay there and not be let loose or even want the bubble to burst. I want to freeze moments. I wish I could. I would have gone into the past and frozen lots and lots of moments and stayed there forever. The problem is bizarre. Any suggestions to cure it???

Sometimes I wonder if this is God’s way of testing my patience or just my karma….the things I want to go away from keep coming back to me…. not once, not twice byt always. Why can’t these things stop happening? Why do things have to keep coming back? Why can’t this whole cycle stop repeating again and again? Oh Why? Will this ordeal ever end?

Another year gone by…and yet another year of blogging….time surely has flown by….2004—blogging. 2005–things happened—work—blogging continued—The Bloggeratti. 2006—work continued—craziness continued and so did blogging. 2007 and 2008 were no different—work work and more work—-blogging continued with a shift to my own domain…and this place.

Of course the predominant part of my life i.e.  work, surely did take its toll on blogging with a somewhat sabbatical happening in between….but I couldn’t stay far from the blog world.

This is like any other day when one celebrates their birthday….and so here is this post for celebrating the birthday of my space in blogville…..HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY SCRIBBLINGS!!!

Some friends stand by you when you are happy, some friends stand by you when you are sad. But there are some friends who stand by you forever through thick and thin…and one such friend is Mayank. Even though he claims I take his case most of the time, it is ALWAYS the other way around.

Talking about his qualities would mean this post would never end. And the narcissist that he is he does enough of self-praising to give a chance to others, but to summarize-a small gift from me to you (Boy will he gloat after reading this, especially when it comes from me)….

Mayank

You ROCK & Are THE BEST!

The sweetest, caring, crazy, loony, lazy, nakhre-baaz (I couldn’t have missed these 2 out) and the most amazing friend one can ever ask for.

Stay the same forever (you can cut down on the laziness though) and may you always get the best in life.

Here’s

wishing

you

a

VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!